


Big Screens

by sashocirrione



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Character Interpretation, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Begging, Captivity, Cheating, Deception, Discipline, Disturbing Themes, Emotional Manipulation, Humiliation, Infidelity, Kink Meme, Law Enforcement, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn Video, Porn Watching, Prompt Fic, Rape/Non-con References, Sex Toys, Sexual Fantasy, Training, Voyeurism, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-21
Updated: 2009-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:48:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashocirrione/pseuds/sashocirrione
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light is full of excess sexual energy and is really turned on by himself, but he can't screw himself, so he has to get release somehow. Matsuda seems like the perfect idiotic little toy to use for the purpose. Light is a huge egomaniac in this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Title:** "Big Screens"

 **Author:** Sashocirrione

 **Spoilers:** MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to chapter 58 of the manga and episode 25 of the anime.

 **Warnings:** NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual activities, swearing.

 **Summary:** Light is full of excess sexual energy and is really turned on by himself, but he can't screw himself, so he has to get release somehow. Matsuda seems like the perfect idiotic little toy to use for the purpose. Light is a huge egomaniac in this fic.

 **Pairings:** LightxMatsuda plus a slight LxLight.

 **Additional Notes:** All canon events previous to anime episode 25 (manga chapter 57-58) have occurred as normal.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

Light was hard. He was enormously, unbelievably hard and it was from thinking about himself, about how great he was, about how he'd pulled off a massively complicated plan and it was all working perfectly. He'd been hard most of the time since his fingers had brushed the death note in the helicopter.

Being Kira again, it had made him scream at first as the two parts of his self tore each other to pieces in the process of merging together, but after that, it simply felt good. It felt powerful. It was a constant tingling in his body, a nervous energy under his skin, a raging erection in his pants. Soon, L would be gone and then he could kill anyone, do anything, and rise to his proper position as a god. It was so intoxicating he could barely stay still.

But Light tried to hide his feelings. He tried to act a bit normally. He felt L's eyes on him. L was too smart to not know something was up, but L couldn't do anything about it, L couldn't possibly prove anything.

Still, Light was so unbearably aroused that he snuck off to the bathroom twice to masturbate after L let him off the chain, despite his pride and his knowledge that security cameras were recording his every move.

It didn't matter. A person should be at least a bit ecstatic after being cleared of such serious charges. L would notice, did notice, that Light was keyed up, but it didn't mean a thing. L was already stuck at a point where the old evidence had been negated, no new evidence could be gathered, and L would be dead soon anyway. L had lost already, and Light could barely hold himself back from starting a fight for no reason, knocking L to the floor, and then holding him down and gloating over him with a knowing smile.

L would surely be desperately searching for something, anything, that Light might do that could constitute evidence. L would watch the masturbation tapes from the bathroom. He had no choice.

Light found himself wondering about L's reaction. L was a sexual mystery. Would he be disgusted, turned on, or completely indifferent? When Misa had accused L of being gay, the first time she saw L and Light chained together, L had never answered the question.

Sexual topics never bothered L in the slightest. He was completely unfazed whenever they came up, sounding almost bored. If only he wasn't the enemy, Light might have jumped L just to find out, to see if Kira could make L feel anything. But, innocent Light just wasn't the sort of person who used sex to satisfy a whim, and Kira knew that messing with L could be dangerous. It wasn't worth it.

Still, if things had gone differently, if L didn't need to die in the least suspicious way possible with all his last moments recorded on video so everyone could see Light hadn't done anything to cause it, then Light would have liked to write down a special controlled death for L. A death that would include a situation where Light would have no trouble raping L, and L wouldn't tell anyone about it afterward. To dominate over L in that way, it would be beyond exhilarating.

But, Light knew better. L was off limits. His death needed to include an airtight alibi for Light with no loopholes or questions possible. Everything needed to go perfectly, smoothly, exactly as planned. But, still, even after everyone who didn't live in the investigation building had gone home for the night, Light couldn't sleep. He was too keyed-up, too aroused, too immersed in his glorious imaginings of once again being the god of the new world.

Light considered wanking off a third time, but the thought of his own hand wasn't too appealing, so he ended up wandering the hallways by himself, something he'd never done before at night. Before, he was always chained to L, and besides he liked to sleep. Light didn't want bags under his eyes, so he would sleep while L sat in a chair by the bed, working on a laptop computer.

In most places there were only a few dim lights on, leaving the hallways darkened and surreal-looking. Most floors were completely unused. Light's footsteps echoed oddly, and he'd never felt so alone, but he loved it, he loved his own company, his own thoughts. The skyscraper was huge and empty, another example of L's excesses, of the ways that L tried to use overwhelming power to trap Kira, but failed every time. The echoing of Light's footsteps in the huge, empty space was another reminder of victory.

Light could feel victory surging within him, running under his skin like electricity, a charged, keyed-up excitement. It was perfect, everything was perfect, _he_ was perfect. Yes, Light Yagami was perfect. Light was impatient, though. It was difficult to wait, to contain himself. He wanted to giggle, to shout, to announce, "I'm Kira."

It was a shame that Kira would always have to operate in secrecy. Light so wanted to act more like a god should, to reveal himself to his followers, to be openly worshipped. But, no, the Kira mission would only work from a position of absolute secrecy.

Light would need to savor the little bits of revealing himself that were safe. He savored the memory of Raye Penber's death, of revealing himself to Raye in the man's dying moments, of how good that felt. And, he remembered what it had felt like to say "I'm Kira" to Naomi Misora moments after his directions to think of nothing but suicide had taken control of her and she was incapable of doing anything about his confession.

Those times of revealing himself had been too few. The memories were wonderful, invigorating and powerful, but they weren't enough. Light knew he needed to arrange more of those moments, of showing his true identity to helpless victims. Light was hard once again, just thinking about it. His penis was straining against the fabric, and he had an urge to simply take it out in this deserted hallway and stroke himself to completion, leaving the mess on the floor, knowing that L would know all about it.

But, no, that wasn't satisfying enough. Light wanted to gloat over L while he stroked himself, not just using the memory of L, but something better. Light wanted to see L, not in person, where L might say something or try to interact with him and thus ruin the mood, but on the surveillance cameras. Light wanted to gaze at L, to gloat, to have the image of L on live video, in front of his eyes, while he imagined L's death, knowing that L couldn't do anything about it, anything at all.

So, Light turned back the way he'd come, his footsteps clattering down echoing, dim hallways and finally onto the bright elevator, seeking out the main room where most of the investigation took place, where those big screens were.

It would be empty at this time of night, and L would know if Light turned on the computers and screens and watched whatever L was doing in his own room. But, it wasn't as if L could say anything about it. L did exactly the same thing to Light. It was only fair for surveillance to go both ways, for all investigators to have access to every bit of video produced in the building. If you wanted privacy, you needed to leave the premises. L understood that as well as anyone else.

But then, when the elevator doors opened and Light saw the main investigation room, he could only stop and gawk as the room's only occupant turned around and squeaked in alarm, trying to pull a blanket up to hide himself. It was Matsuda, totally nude, sitting on the floor on a big fluffy quilt amid various pillows, and a moment ago he'd had a vibrator stuck up his ass, which Light could still hear buzzing away from wherever it had fallen.

On all the multiple monitors various porn videos were playing, some with men fucking women, others with men fucking men.

Matsuda was so cute and embarrassed, a bright pink blush creeping up his cheeks and coloring his nose even as the lust remained in his eyes. The whole scene was so sudden, and so sexy, and all at once Light could feel his painfully hard erection practically throbbing, and it wanted to be released from his pants badly, a burning need. As he got over the shock of seeing such a thing and began striding forward, he could imagine something much more fun than rubbing himself off.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Matsuda pulled up the quilt even more around his naked form and stammered, "I'm... I'm sor-ry. Ryuzaki lets... well, he lets... he lets me do this, and nobody ever comes down here at night."

Light stopped a few paces away, smiled and said, "Don't worry, Matsuda. I'm not mad at you. You're single, and this is a natural way to relieve your frustration."

Matsuda said, "Oh, I'm really glad you understand, Light. You're always so cool with everything."

That vibrator was still buzzing away somewhere within the folds of the blanket, and Matsuda began feeling around with one hand, biting back a nervous little giggle, and then the sound turned off.

Light was incredibly hard, he wanted to moan from sheer arousal, but he held himself back. Matsuda was a Light admirer, it would take just a little push, saying the right things, and then Light could get the sweet release he craved, a proper victory celebration for getting his memories back and L's imminent demise. And, since L watched everything Light did, L would see it, either as a live show or later on. L would see innocent little Matsuda succumbing to Kira, and L wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Light said, "Matsuda, you don't hate me, do you?"

Matsuda said, "Oh, no, why would you think that? I like you very much!"

"Well, it wouldn't bother you if I made use of the big screens too, would it? I've been chained to Ryuzaki for so long, and I haven't been able to do anything."

Light made his voice low and sultry. "I'm so horny, Matsuda, I don't think I can wait another moment."

Matsuda's pink blush deepened to a bright red and spread out over his entire face and neck. He giggled nervously and said, "I, um, I could leave."

Light said, "You care about my comfort, don't you? Well, I'm not ashamed, not in front of you. Ryuzaki is like a robot or something, all cold and analyzing, and I could never do it in the same room as him, but I wouldn't mind if you watched. It would be fun."

Without waiting for a reaction from Matsuda, Light began undressing, throwing his clothing on a pile on the floor, revealing his erection standing out stiffly, straining. Light rubbed it gently with his hand and moaned. Light hadn't thought it was possible, but Matsuda got even redder. Then Light shed the rest of his clothing, walked the remaining few paces to the quilt and sat down on it, arranging pillows around him.

Light said, "You put a lot of thought into this, Matsuda. It's a really nice arrangement. Thank you. Do you have some lubricant? You must have been using some for the vibrator."

Matsuda said, "Yes," and began looking under various pillows, finally producing a tube and squeezing some into Light's hand. Matsuda still couldn't meet his gaze, but Light recognized the look in Matsuda's eyes. It was a look that was shy, hopeful and embarrassed all at once. Light had seen it on countless girls. It meant Matsuda was trapped already, a fruit that was ripe and ready to be plucked. Light had already known how much Matsuda looked up to him and admired him, how appreciative Matsuda was of any little compliment from him or any time they spent together. And, from Matsuda's porn selection, it was obvious that the idea of men having sex with each other did turn him on.

Light began stroking his erection slowly, teasingly, with his lubricated hand. He was so extremely aroused, but it wouldn't do to come fast. No, he needed to savor it, draw it out. He leaned his head back; his eyes just barely open a slit, and watched Matsuda slyly. Matsuda was still perched uncomfortably in a half-crouch, looking nervous and embarrassed, doing nothing to himself, but his deflated penis was beginning to rise again anyway.

Light said, "Matsuda, you deserve pleasure. Why aren't you touching yourself?"

Matsuda fumbled around and moved from a half-crouch to a seated position, then placed a pillow in his lap. Light opened his eyes fully and started creeping toward Matsuda, saying, "You have such a beautiful body, Matsuda. You shouldn't be ashamed. Don't hide it."

Light carefully, tentatively placed his hands on Matsuda's shoulders, trying to be reassuring and seductive at once. He felt Matsuda's muscles stiffen. This was the moment of truth, when Matsuda might either bolt or give in, but the fact that he hadn't fled yet was a very good sign. Light could almost taste his victory. It was time to truly tempt Matsuda.

Light said, "Matsuda, I really like you. I've always liked you. Maybe this isn't appropriate to say, but I can't hold back my feelings. Do you hate me for saying this?"

"No! No, Light, I..."

Matsuda lost his words. Light endured the silence for only a few moments before he brushed his cheek gently against the side of Matsuda's face and said, "You're so beautiful. I'd really like to suck you off."

Light heard Matsuda's breath hitch in a certain way, and knew he'd won even though Matsuda hadn't given an answer. This was the way it was. Start with the most tempting thing imaginable; dangle the bait carefully, skillfully. Don't say what you really want until you've captured the victim.

Light let his fingers roam gently downwards from Matsuda's shoulders, over his chest muscles, sliding over the toned curves with a teasing pressure, both urgent and relaxed, a lover's touch.

Matsuda's body began giving way, sinking into Light's arms, and Matsuda said, "Oh, God!"

But Light heard, almost heard, "Oh, Kira!" instead. Light wanted to throw Matsuda to the floor roughly, enter him, and fuck him hard. But, it would be even better to seduce him completely, the right way, to make him compliant and needy and grateful and just begging for it. Light used one hand to circle a nipple that rapidly hardened while his other hand roamed lower over Matsuda's torso, pulling the pillow from the man's lap and revealing a rigid erection, standing up firm and tall.

The various porn scenes were still playing silently on the monitors above, but Light's eyes didn't stray to them. He only wanted Matsuda, and he was already aroused enough that nothing could increase his arousal. It was almost unbearable to be so turned on, and Light was almost drooling. He had to lick his lips to keep it contained.

Light used one hand to arrange pillows behind Matsuda and gently pushed him back, having Matsuda rest on them in a half-reclined position. The man was shivering now under Light's caresses, his mouth half-open, his eyes blinking in a lustful haze, and the gorgeous blush still present. This must be Matsuda's dream. Matsuda had always wanted Light to like him, and for Light to like him _this much_... in such an intimate way...

Light spread Matsuda's legs, deepening the man's blush, and crouched between them. He began licking Matsuda's chest, working his way slowly downward as Matsuda's breathing sped up. Light used the time to glance around and locate the vibrator and the lubricant. He re-slickened the vibrator out of Matsuda's sight and put it within easy reach, but did not turn it on.

By then he had worked his way right to the base of Matsuda's erection. It twitched as Light's tongue neared it, and Matsuda let out a deep, masculine groan. Light began licking the side of it, working his way up the shaft, laving it with busy strokes. When he reached the tip he took it in his mouth, sucking hard. Matsuda gasped and then used the back of his hand to cover his eyes.

Light stopped and said, "Don't be ashamed. Let me look at you. You have such beautiful brown eyes."

Matsuda slowly removed his hand, but couldn't quite meet Light's gaze. God, the man was so innocent, so trusting, a perfect symbol of how Light could do anything to the task force and get away with it, and L couldn't do a damn thing about it. Light descended once again to Matsuda's erection and took it in his mouth, bobbing up and down, taking it in but only so far, just to the back of his mouth. Matsuda wasn't worth trying that hard. Light refused to deep-throat him.

Oral, after all, was merely a way of ensuring Matsuda's seduction, and Light had no intention of letting Matsuda orgasm that way.

With those thoughts in mind, Light spread Matsuda's ass cheeks, turned on the vibrator, and began pressing it against Matsuda's entrance. Matsuda threw back his head and let out a needy whine, bucking his hips upward and choking Light as the vibrator slipped inside.

Matsuda gasped, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Light."

Light said nothing, but continued to attack the top half of Matsuda's erection with his lips and tongue while he fucked him with the vibrator, feeling how open and _ready_ Matsuda was. Light could imagine himself in there, and he was almost seeing it and feeling it with such vividness, and it was nearly more than he could bear, but he had to do everything perfectly, or he wouldn't get his complete satisfaction when the time came.

Light let go of everything he was doing and climbed up Matsuda's body, into the man's arms, hugging him tight, rubbing his erection, his throbbing, almost painful erection, against Matsuda's stomach.

Light said, "Matsuda, I can't stop. I want to fuck you. Will you let me?"

The answer came, a very quiet, "Yes."

Light pressed his hips against Matsuda, grinding in a rhythm, their erections rubbing together with electric jolts, and said, "Are you sure? Do you really want to?"

Matsuda's choked gasp said, "Please, please... yes."

 _Please_. That was the word Light had been waiting for. He'd made Matsuda beg for it. Light grabbed Matsuda by the hips and flipped his body over, putting him on all fours, and knelt behind. Light was so hard he could barely think. He was Kira, the god of the new world, and he could do anything to anyone. Light savored the sight of Matsuda's backside stretched out before him, vulnerable and needing to be fucked, and then he gave in to his instincts and entered the man roughly, burying himself to the hilt in one vicious thrust.

Matsuda bucked underneath him from the intrusion, which only added to the sheer deliciousness of being buried there, of being enclosed on all sides. Matsuda was slippery and prepared from the vibrator, but he wasn't loose, he was tight, so very tight and enclosing on every side. Light paused to get control of himself. It wouldn't do to ejaculate within seconds of penetration. He was feeling giddy and not at all normal. Thoughts of his new world and the victory that was already unfolding were mixed together in his mind with the raw, immediate experience of dominating over a pliant, completely seduced Matsuda. It was somehow all part of the same process.

Light laughed. It was a Kira laugh, completely uninhibited. And then, he pulled himself together enough that he felt sure he could fuck Matsuda as long as he wanted without the experience ending too early with premature ejaculation. It would be difficult, he was horny as hell and so close already, but he could do it, he was in control.

And then, Light grabbed Matsuda's hips as if they were handles and began to fuck him with deep, hard, slow strokes. Matsuda was moaning and panting and touching himself as Light continued to shove in over and over with a sure, measured rhythm, but Light could care less what Matsuda was doing. This, _this_ was what he'd been craving the entire time since his memories had flooded back into his brain. He needed stimulation, and release, and an acknowledgement of his status as the master, the dominant one, the guy who could out-think and out-charm all the others. He barely even needed the death note. So much of what he'd accomplished on his rise to glory had been due to words alone.

Light knew his strengths, he knew his advantages. L didn't have a pretty face, or a charming manner, and L was used to working alone, not in a group. L hadn't realized that Light would win over all of L's underlings, slowly erode the foundation out from under L, and discredit L's theories.

Light had been on the winning side ever since L had been forced to let both Kira suspects out of their holding cells. Since then, it had only been one victory after another, Light gradually conquering a helpless L. The process was relentless and inevitable, and almost complete.

Divide and conquer. It was simple, and L was stupid, or completely maladapted socially, to not see it coming, to not realize that allowing Kira direct access to the task force would result in task force members being corrupted and then converted to Kira's side, without even knowing they were on Kira's side.

L had won a few battles, but he had lost the war by losing his soldiers, while Light only gained more soldiers to his cause over time: Misa, Rem, and now the task force itself. Seducing Matsuda and fucking him was a symbol of what had been happening all along, a pinnacle of Light's subversive influence, winning over everyone to his side and leaving L cornered, helpless, alone.

Light could feel sweat running down his face. He didn't usually let himself get this undone, to actually sweat, but it was worth it. He just kept pushing into Matsuda, each stroke a delicious pleasure, wet sucking friction, feeding the rising frenzy within him. And, Light was talking dirty, a constant stream of low words spilling from his mouth without thought or much comprehension, telling Matsuda how good it was, how it felt inside him, so hot and slippery and he should squeeze with his internal muscles, yes, just like that, he was a fuck toy, Light was using him to get off, to get his release, and he needed it badly.

Light felt the excitement rising within him, that inevitable pressure at the base of his penis, and he was becoming undone, gloriously unraveling inside, letting himself feel like never before, slamming hard and rough into Matsuda's tight heat with a keen urgency and a total disregard for anything Matsuda might be feeling. Light was laughing now again, and no longer aware of what he was saying even though he was shouting loudly, nearly a scream, and the entire experience was at once the best sex he'd ever had in his life and a culmination of his victory as Kira.

He felt Matsuda tense underneath him, and something felt wrong about Matsuda's muscles, but Light was on the edge of his orgasm and he ignored it, letting the rising frenzy consume him, the little hairs on his back and neck prickling and standing on end, his cock pulsing with spasms of pure ecstasy, unloading spurts of thick, warm pleasure into Matsuda. Light couldn't think, he couldn't breathe, he was completely consumed. It was the best thing ever, the best possible finish for the best day of his life.

And then, Light was breathing again, and pulling out, pushing Matsuda onto his side. Matsuda seemed disturbed; he couldn't look at Light. Matsuda curled his limbs in protectively, getting into a fetal position, and in the next moment looked as if he might burst into tears. Light knew an ordinary lover would ask what was wrong, would try to cuddle and comfort, but he didn't feel like it. He was victorious and dominant, and if Matsuda couldn't handle it, that was Matsuda's problem. If Light ever needed release with Matsuda again, he was sure he could talk the guy into it. Matsuda was an idiot, after all.

Light wiped the mess off his penis with Matsuda's quilt, and then stepped away to the neat little pile of clothes he'd made on the floor and began dressing himself. In the background, pornography was still playing on those big screens. Somehow, it seemed odd that the people on the screens should continue after Light was done.

Then, all the screens were suddenly filled with L's "L" symbol. Light smiled. L had watched the proceedings, and was going to comment on it. This was going to be nice. L probably didn't approve, but what could he do?

L was powerless. When L talked, nobody listened any more, and it was all due to Light's careful planning. Hearing L complain would be so sweet, knowing that complaining was all L could possibly do and soon he'd be dead, dead, dead.

L said, "I have already sent a file containing the video of your confession to Interpol. Judging from the shinigami's extreme reactions to watching Misa on the monitor, Rem might be on your side and I could die at any moment, so if I must die at least I'll have shown other detectives where to find Kira."

Light's hands stopped trying to put on his tie and he was frozen, in complete shock. What... what had happened? Was this a bluff of some kind? Light's glance flickered to Matsuda, and Matsuda softly said, "Kira... is it true?"

Something occurred to Light, a possible explanation... just before his orgasm when he was unaware of what he'd been shouting... but he couldn't have lost control that badly, could he? No, no, it wasn't possible. It had to be a bluff on L's part. Right?

Light's hands started moving again, adjusting his clothing. He was thinking, trying to appear calm. If he had said... something, it couldn't be too incriminating. He needed to keep control of the situation. He could talk his way out of this, he always could, and L was probably bluffing anyway, in part if not in whole.

Light cleared his throat and said, "Ryuzaki, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Immediately, the largest screen displayed a video of Light and Matsuda having sex.

The Light on the screen screamed out, "I'm Kira," as his eyes rolled back into his head, and then continued a moment later with, "I'm Kira, and you idiots will never figure out my memory trick, oh, oh, it's so great to remember again. I'll kill L and you'll never know how I did it."

The rest trailed off into incoherent screaming with only a few recognizable words, "Kira" twice "kill" three times and "Rem" once.

Light felt a cold sweat breaking out all over his body, but he used his force of will to keep his voice normal as he said, "So? That just shows I have a fetish for pretending I'm Kira. Shouting out nonsense during sex isn't a real confession. I didn't even realize I was doing it. It's like sleep-talking."

L said, "That may be true, but Interpol will know who to begin investigating if I die, and I have arranged it so that Interpol will know if I die. There are a few people who know my face, and I visit all of them at least once a year. If I fail to visit for long enough, they'll notify Interpol I'm dead even if you've successfully impersonated me up to that point in time."

Light thought furiously. How to win now? If he could just find out the identities of those people who knew the face of the real L, and kill all of them first. No, L would have an additional hidden trap of some kind... especially now.

Then, what about killing L anyway, and simply accepting that Interpol would come looking? Take the death note away from Misa, make some arrangement for continuing the judgments that nobody could see through, and assume that killing right under the noses of lesser detectives would be possible after having done the same with L previously...

L said, "I think I should tell Rem what I've done. Seeing the shinigami's reaction should give us more clues, if it doesn't kill us all."

Light's heart began beating faster, and he tried to keep his face completely blank. Rem would probably panic and blow everything. Rem knew she couldn't kill many people before she expired, probably not the entire task force, and certainly not all of Interpol, so she'd most likely try to cut a deal for Misa.

Suddenly, Light felt like he'd made a horrible mistake in gathering his soldiers. He'd gathered Rem and Misa? What had he been thinking? L had been losing soldiers, while Light gained incompetent soldiers who were sure to be a liability if a true emergency ever happened. Light had relied on the idea that he'd always be able to stave off a true emergency, that the weaknesses of his soldiers wouldn't ever be turned against him.

Light said, "As you said, Ryuzaki, Rem might kill us all. Why don't you wait to inform her?"

Light glanced at Matsuda, still curled in a ball, nude and frightened and suspicious, a look of betrayal in his soft brown eyes.

Light said, "Matsuda, you don't want to die, do you? L's trying to provoke the shinigami. It's too risky. L is always making moves that put us in too much danger."

Matsuda looked confused, but he didn't say anything. No, relying on Matsuda to scold L into obedience was just stupid. Light needed another task force member, a more senior one, but unfortunately they were all in bed, and he'd have to get L to let his cellphone out of the vault just to call any of them.

Light said, "Ryuzaki, you can't be serious about risking everyone's lives without discussing it with the rest of the team. That isn't a decision you should make on your own. Wait until everyone's here in the morning, and then arrange a private meeting away from the shinigami to discuss it."

L said, "I've just now made arrangements with Rem. The notebook is with me. If you try to leave the building, Kira, or harm Matsuda or even use the computers, I'll send Watari down to shoot you full of tranquilizer darts and toss you in a cell."

"No," Light said, "he's bluffing. Don't you see, Matsuda? He is hoping I'm Kira and that I'd say so if I thought Rem had made a deal with him."

Light shouted, "Rem! Rem, where are you?"

A few moments later, Rem's bony white form phased through the ceiling and she dropped lightly onto the floor. Rem said, "I have made a deal to save Misa. They will arrest you."

Light began backing toward the elevator. He'd run to Misa, get her death note, and go into hiding. No, that wouldn't work. Even if he could escape the building and get to Misa before any investigators and hide successfully, they could write his name in Higuchi's death note. He needed to secure it first, or anything else was futile. It wasn't in a safe or anything, it was with L. Could he simply take it and run?

Light pushed the button for the elevator. It didn't work; the doors didn't open.

L's voice said, "The elevator is locked. You cannot use it."

Well, there was one other way out of this room: up the stairs to the next floor, and then into the stairwell.

As Light sprinted up the stairs, L's voice said, "All doors are locked and will only open for Watari."

Light reached the door he needed and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge. He kicked it hard, and then knelt, taking the pin from the secret compartment in his watch and sticking it in the keyhole. He immediately got a painful electric shock that shoved his whole body backward with a powerful convulsion and made his teeth ache. Before he could recover, a naked Matsuda had tackled him, wrestling him into submission, locking him in some kind of fancy wrestling hold. Light strained against it with all his strength, but he couldn't move. Matsuda was strong, freakishly strong.

A few moments later, Watari came into view, holding a gun. Watari shot Light's thigh, and Light stared down at the tranquilizer dart, absurdly fascinated with the red feathery bit on its end as the world began swimming and wavering around him and at last slipped away.

The trial was a month later, and the punishment was being put in a special prison where L had complete control over everything that happened. Light quickly discovered that he was utterly dependent on L for every little thing. If he wanted hot water in his shower, he had to ask L each time. If he wanted any variation from the nutritional glop he got served for each meal, he needed to ask L. If he wanted anything to relieve the boredom, such as a video game or a movie, he had to get L to get it for him, and then as soon as he finished with it, it would be taken away until he asked L again.

Light threw plenty of tantrums and tried little schemes to get around L's restrictions, but there wasn't really anything he could do. L had planned everything, and it was an environment where L had all the power.

Light hated it, but he could tell what L was doing. It was quite obvious. If L had decided to be a complete bastard and torment him for no reason, Light could have lived with that situation more easily. But, no, L had to have a reason, L had to keep scheming. L was carefully, rigorously training him, forcing him to be grateful and polite and obedient.

And then, five years later, L gave Light an additional option for how to relieve his boredom. Light could help L on cases, but only remotely, and with severe restrictions. Light had no power to do anything, such as accessing the Internet, that Light could possibly use to manipulate an escape or to mobilize Kira supporters.

Light was angry at first, and refused, but over time his boredom forced him into it. Helping L solve cases was more interesting than any video game or movie. Light had been taught well. He had experienced first-hand that L was a manipulator, not a better one than Light, but one with different advantages and disadvantages.

L had found an opening he could use and had taken it, pushing all the way to the total victory. L had been lucky to find such an opening. Light had to admit, in the end, that his urge to gloat had done him in. The two of them were near equals, and it had just taken that one thing to upset the balance and hand victory to one of them.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

This is another fic spawned by a plot suggestion on the death note kink meme community (the one called dn_kink) on Livejournal.

I tried to make this into more than just porn and explore Light's character a little. Even if Light's mission is entirely justified and righteous, Light is really, really full of himself, with an ego the size of a planet, and I wanted to explore that aspect of Light in this fic. Sorry about not creating a happy version of the LightxMatsuda relationship. Most relationships with Light in them seem to attract angst and tragedy. Maybe someday I'll create a happy fic with this pairing.

Anyway, tell me what you think in a review! Is it cool that Light accidentally confessed, or unbelievable and over the top?

I personally think that a spontaneous accidental confession is out of character for Light, but that it's only slightly out of character. In my mind, canon Light would almost go as far as confessing if he really did lose control of what he was shouting during a sexual situation, but his extreme paranoia and his obsession with controlling everything would probably stop him before he said anything truly incriminating.

And there's also the idea that canon Light is such a control freak that perhaps he never loses control during sex anyway, so that nothing like this situation would ever come up.


End file.
